Day 5: Failing Forward

I haven’t succeeded this week at writing every day. I am choosing to see this as an experience of failing forward. I failed to live up to my intention, but I am moving forward to try again without beating myself up or giving up.

There are two culprits at work in missing writing days thus far: it hasn’t yet become a habit and my current Fibro symptoms.

They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. I haven’t set a scheduled time for writing because with a toddler in the house and a family to manage time with, it’s difficult to set the same time every day. I put a reminder on my phone, but I think I set it for too early in the day because it goes away before I’m ready for writing. I just updated my calendar with a new time and multiple reminders. We’ll see if that leads to better results.

My Fibro symptoms have increased over the last couple weeks because I’ve had to wean myself off of one of my medications. The State of Oregon doesn’t recognize Lyrica as treatment for Fibromyalgia and we can’t afford $300 a month. Coming off of the Lyrica has brought me fatigue despite full sleep, as well as more pain. It’s the fatigue that challenges my writing because it diminishes my brain capacity. I only have a few hours a day where I feel clear headed enough to write, and even then I don’t always have full use of my intellectual capacity. If I miss that window, it’s incredibly difficult to try to make writing happen later in the day when the exhaustion has accumulated.

I am grateful I know of writers who succeed at writing books while simultaneously managing a chronic illness. It shows me that it can be done. It will be slower than I might like, but if I can manage an hour a day or a few hours a week, it will eventually lead to a finished work. A book in two years is certainly better than not writing a book at all, just like 5 days of writing out of 7 is better than no writing at all.

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