In a culture designed to make women doubt everything about themselves, I have always liked who I am. I’ve just always accepted my own and others’ humanness. It’s how I’m made. And I chose nonconformity and purposeful transgression in my early teens, so I refused to pay attention to the messages that I am less than or other or that I need to do a bunch of stuff to my body, face, and hair, or wear the right clothes, or behave a certain way to be acceptable.
What I’ve learned about people liking me is that I am never going to be popular, but I am loved deeply and well by other misfits, self identified freaks, and transgressors.
It makes me sad, and angry, when I read about other women’s battles with self hatred of various sorts because we are all worthy of respect and care just as we are in our full humanity. I am sick of us being reduced to bodies and clothes and so called appropriate behavior. I’ve come to believe that liberation lies in transgressing the rules and standards with which they try to oppress us and creating our own agreements about how we relate to one another. No more games. No more trading intimate relationship with our own souls for belonging. No more othering. Let’s be real humans together.