Why Transgressive Woman?

Tomorrow #the100dayproject begins and I thought I’d say something about why I’ve chosen the archetype of the Transgressive Woman to frame my memoir project. My rebellious nature is a core aspect of who I am, something I’ve discovered resides at the center of all my experiences. I just don’t like rules (I prefer agreements). It’s also how I’ve created a liberated life despite trauma and oppressive systems that would rather have me and mine dead and erased for all the ways we defy cis-het-white-supremacist-patriarchy just by being real about who we are and what we experience.

If I’m already less than human for being poor, fat, traumatized, mentally ill, a woman, a witch, a slut, a rape and intimate violence victim, a single mother, a welfare recipient, sex positive, queer, a submissive masochist, a mirror of the emotional truth in the room, a birth mother, a lover of trans and nonbinary humans, chronically ill and partially disabled, then why not take pride in who I am and make a joyful practice out of transgressing the rules of culture and religion. Somehow I’ve never been willing to bargain for my humanity or conform for my belonging. I was already lamenting how humans wear masks and play games when I was 15 and refused to conform. Instead I’ve celebrated life on the margins and pushed the edges of what’s possible.

Once a friend described me as living an ordinary life in an extraordinary way. It’s that medicine that I feel compelled to share through my stories – what freedom feels like when you throw the rules out the window. There is magic and a profound experience of life in being real.

Image: Early 2000s at a sex positive party demo of temporary piercing – 12 needles in my back with ribbon wrapped around them to create wings. Moving my upper body would create stinging tension around each needle, so I danced and induced an ecstatic altered state I call The Forever Place.

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