26th Story of Transgression: I am a Slut

I am a slut by any *current* definition of the word.

I love sex and had more than 70 lovers before chosen monogamy with my partner. Approximately 20 of those lovers were in the 2 years prior to our dating while hostessing for The Impropriety Society. We made a chart L-Word style and I was the woman with the most connections. There were also kissing friends – men and women with whom I had chemistry, but the circumstances weren’t right for sex so we flirted and we kissed. I made out with a gay man and married women. There was one party where I kissed 13 different people.

I have experienced the joy and laughter of a booby circle (where one person is surrounded by breasts of all sorts and has consent to touch them). Spin the Bottle. Countless cuddle puddles and BDSM scenes. And making people’s fantasies come true. That’s a special sort of human connection to experience.

I learned to separate sex and affection from partnership so that I could experience loving and fun connection without getting caught up in trying to make every person “the one.” I learned that there are many kinds of chemistry and life is richer when I allow myself to be real in the moment.

Slut doesn’t only mean a woman who likes sex or has sex with many people. It originated as dirty woman, literally… – Slut first appeared in the written language in 1402. At that time, slut meant roughly what one sense of slattern means today: a slovenly, untidy woman or girl. Dictionary.com –

Slovenly because I like sex. Unclean because I let my passions flow with more than one person, because I don’t mate monogamously for life, because I like kissing and cuddling and playing with my friends. Dirty because I have the audacity to believe such things are ok.

Or it’s assumed because I am “dirty” I’ll sleep with anyone. Men believe themselves entitled to me because I appear to be easy. In actuality I am very picky about who I share my energy with. I don’t do “casual” sex because I care for and love the people I interact with. I’m just fuzzy about the lines between physical intimacy and sex and friendship because I believe sex is fun and pleasure is good for me.

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