In relationship, like with my ex husband, I would take a lot of bullshit before exploding. My ex wouldn’t show up as a partner, including not working nor taking care of our home, and I would periodically breakdown with exhaustion and sadness. Then he would get defensive and I would rage – yelling and throwing my wedding ring and/or cups of water at him. I was fighting for myself, but also for my kids, who didn’t have a dad and he had made vows to them, too. My only true regret is staying in that marriage far too long because of my trauma wounding and how my children suffered for it.
I fight when I’m attacked, triggered, or most especially when my people are threatened. I will always fight for what is fair and just, especially when bullying is involved. I fought management for my people at the risk of losing a job that wasn’t just a job to me. I stood up for myself and others against emotional bullies in the Impropriety Society (it wasn’t all beautiful) and found myself standing alone and being told I was the problem for being loud, because being loud and speaking the truth of the emotional impact of people’s behavior is somehow worse than being careless or mean (of course it is, few people are willing to face the harm they cause). And I fought for what I believed was best for myself and my birth son when our adoption triad fractured, losing most of my beloved relationships at the time.