Transgressive Woman

Transgressive – Involving a violation of accepted or imposed religious and/or social rules. Relating to art or literature in which orthodox moral, social, and artistic boundaries are challenged by the representation of unconventional behavior and the use of experimental forms.

I was born into this world a woman. Devalued. Less than a man.

I was born into this world a transgression. Illegitimate. Belonging to no man.

I was born into this world a rebel. Heretic. Liberated from the rule of man.

Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be.” James Baldwin

I began claiming my freedom as a teenager. I fought for freedom from the emotional grip of my narcissistic mother, from the fist of conformity in public education, and from the poisonous embrace of Christian fundamentalism. Most significantly I knew at 15 that everything I was taught about love was a lie. The love modeled for me at home and church was conditional, punishing, and required my submission rather than my participation. My heart told me that love was free and radically inclusive of all that is human. When I left home, and the church, I learned that I could claim my freedom and new ways of loving through transgression.

It is by breaking the rules about women and truth-telling that I found my voice as a writer. It is by breaking the rules regarding women and sex that I found the courage to attend, and then produce, erotic parties that transformed lives. It is by breaking the rules about intimacy and relationship that I learned healthy partnership, where power is equitably shared and violence is accounted for. It is by breaking the rules regarding who and how I should love that I experienced belonging.  It is by breaking the rules about how to relate to God that I experienced the ecstasy of direct communion.

Transgression is necessary to my ability to thrive in a culture that endeavors to oppress my humanness. When I transgress I refuse to submit to culture’s story of superiority. Transgression is my road to liberation.

The foundation of the Transgressive Woman project is being constructed through the Stories of Transgression. I am writing stories about ways I transgress(ed) cultural and religious conventions by choice and circumstance. These stories are part memoir and part manifesto.

Transgressive Woman lives in active resistance to the cultural narrative regarding all aspects of a woman’s life. It is also a view of life on the margins that will not sensationalize, nor look away from what is real.

1 – I Live with Chronic Illness

2 – Loving a Violent Criminal

3 – Poverty is Transgression (Or Fashion Doesn’t Exist When You’re Poor)

4 – I was Born a Bastard

5 – Discovering My Clit

6 – I am a Submissive Masochist

7 – My Mom Believed Playing Rizzo Ruined Me for Life

8 – I Could be a Bearded Lady

9 – I am a Prophet for Pain

10 – I have Always Liked Myself

11 – I was Born a Female in Patriarchy

12 – I am Queer

13 – I Love Transgressive Artists

14 – I Wear My Heart on My Sleeve

15 – I am a Birth Mother

16 – I am She Who is Never Not Broken

17 – I Raised Two Queer Children

18 – I Dwell in Vulnerability

19 – I Took 5 Years to Process Birth Mother Grief

20 – I was a Teen Mother

A Reflection: I am Complicit in My Stories

21 – I had My First Consensual Sexual Encounter at 14

22 – I Love Sex

23 – I was Molested by a Family Friend

24 – I was a Sex Positive Party Producer

25 – I Turned My Back on Christianity

26 – I am a Slut

27 – I was a Reluctant Mother

28 – My Family’s Legacy was Abuse & Trauma

29 – I Co-Founded a Home for Teen Mothers when I was 19

30 – I Lived with Mental Illness

A Reflection at 30 Stories

31 – My Stepdad was a Tramp and Shaped Me as a Wild Woman

32 – I Honor the Sovereignty of All Humans (Or I Honor Suicide as a Choice)

33 -I Live from My Bed

34 – I Believe in Radical Inclusion

35 – I am a Misfit Because I am a Trauma Survivor

36 – I am a Witch and Touch Healer

37 – I Make Transgressive Art

38 – I am an Intellectual Woman…Who Chooses the Heart Path

39 – I am Comfortable Being Fat and Naked in Public

40 – I am a Fighter

41 – I am My Own Savior

42 – I am a Mystic Devoted to the God Between Us

43 – I Oppose the Commodification of Spiritual Community in Witchcraft and Other Traditions

44 – I Allowed a Narcissist-Sadist to Control My Mind

45 – I No Longer Believe in Capitalism’s Story about Purpose

46 – I was Raised by Addict Parents

47 – I Refuse to Bow to the Mythology of Self Sacrifice